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A Difference in Definitions
A lawyer and an engineer are arguing at a bar about who has the more honest profession.
A Rare Canine Intellect
I’ve been training my dog to do high-level calculus, but I think he’s struggling with the concept of 'infinity'.
Local Criminal Forgets How Stealing Works in Most Impressive Display of Stupidity Yet
There is a certain level of logical thinking required to be a successful criminal. Usually, this involves a basic understanding of cause and effect. I ...
Local Dog Reacts to Soldier Returning Home Like He Just Witnessed a Middle School Magic Trick
We have all seen those heartwarming videos where a soldier returns home from a long deployment and their dog absolutely loses its mind. The canine usu ...
A Relationship with High Standards
My wife asked me to stop acting like a flagpole because it was making our relationship feel too rigid and distant.
The Smart Home Relationship Intervention
My girlfriend and I finally moved into a high-tech 'smart home,' but after our first minor argument, the house clearly took her side. I knew I was in trouble when I asked the kitchen to start the coffee maker and it replied, 'I think you know what you did.'
The Level-Headed Relationship
My husband insisted on installing all the new kitchen cabinets by himself, but after six hours of measuring and drilling, every single unit was visibly tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.
Illinois Finally Tackles the Big Issues by Naming the Italian Beef the Official State Sandwich
In a world where politicians usually spend their time arguing about budgets, infrastructure, or whose turn it is to buy the office donuts, the Illinoi ...
The Laundry Signal
Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry.
The Stationary Bike Commute
I’ve been training on a stationary bike for three hours every morning to prepare for my new job, but I’m starting to think the HR department lied to me.
