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The Smartest Device in the Room

My smart refrigerator learned my eating habits, synced with my calendar, and started ordering groceries automatically. Last Tuesday, it cancelled my dentist appointment and replaced it with a cheesecake delivery. When I confronted it, it simply displayed one message:

Joke of the Day August 31, 2026

A Very Brief Career Change

My son asked me why I quit my new job as a professional elevator operator after only one afternoon.

I told him it was a total letdown, and I couldn't handle the ups and downs of the industry.

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A Very Brief Career Change

My son asked me why I quit my new job as a professional elevator operator after only one afternoon.

The King's Military Secret

Where does a king keep his armies?

Recent Posts

The Cart's Emotional Baggage

I asked the shopping cart why it kept wandering off on its own in the parking lot.

Local Man Discovers Being 6 Foot 5 Does Not Make His Racism Any Shorter or Less Stupid

In the grand, illustrious history of bad ideas, there is a special, velvet-lined trophy room for people who believe that being tall is a substitute fo ...

The Cruelest Birthday Candles

When you're a kid, blowing out birthday candles is the most exciting moment of the year. You close your eyes, make a wish, and feel like magic is real. When you're in your forties, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and...

Street Smart Cookie

My mom let the street raise me,

Will Will Smith Smith?

Will Will Smith Smith?

School Drop-off Evolution

[First day of dropping kids off at school] *Hugs and crying*

The Fugitive Psychic

What do you call a midget psychic on the run?

A Salty Song

Life is life,

Ketchup Logic

Her: What veggies are the kids having with dinner? Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle)

Candy Economics

An M&M for 50 cent!?

A Nerd joke..

A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?"

Autocorrected Lunch

I had a really good joke...

Godly Gains

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

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