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Local Man Cleverly Disguises Rejection by Dog as Elaborate Remote Control Search

Local Man Cleverly Disguises Rejection by Dog as Elaborate Remote Control Search

A man in a modest living room achieved a new personal best in emotional damage control Tuesday evening, when his dog declined a paw-hold and the man responded by launching into the most convincing rem...

Joke of the Day November 11, 2026

The Hamster Is Billing for Mileage

My hamster ran eight miles on his wheel last night.

This morning he woke up in the exact same place and asked to speak to HR about the commute.

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The Hamster Is Billing for Mileage

My hamster ran eight miles on his wheel last night.

The Toaster Dial Goes to Eleven for a Reason

My toaster has settings from one to six, and I've tested them all.

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Mild Is a Dare in Disguise

The menu said the hot sauce was 'medium,' so I ordered it with confidence.

Local Politician Solves Doctor Shortage Using Phone That Has Never Worked in This Town

Residents of the sleepy town of Little Wumble gathered yesterday to witness what historians are already calling "the most confident phone call ever made to absolutely nobody." It began when a representative strode into the town square with the posture of a man who has been told he has great hair and believed it. "Citizen!" he boomed at a startled local ho…

Smart Fridge, Dumb Timing

My new smart fridge sent me an alert at 2 a.m. saying the door was open.

Umbrella Math

I own six umbrellas, and every time it rains, all six are at someone else's house.

Pasta Sauce Prophecy

I wore a white shirt to a spaghetti dinner out of pure optimism.

The Parrot Learned the Microwave

My parrot has perfected the microwave beep so well that I now wander into the kitchen at 2 a.m.

The Cart With a Different Life Plan

Every grocery cart I choose has three wheels heading to produce and one wheel heading to a new life.

Car Boss Promises to Stop Leaving Keys in the Ignition, Which Is Apparently a Thing You Have to Say Out Loud

The head of a famously expensive car company has pledged to stop leaving the keys in his own car, a promise that experts describe as 'the bare minimum' and that his friends describe as 'finally.' The vow came after his two-million-pound machine was borrowed, without paperwork or goodbyes, by a stranger who had spotted the most tempting thing in motoring:…

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Uno

Uno gameplay preview

Big colors. Tiny grudges.

Match colors and numbers against three AI opponents.

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