Jokes
All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!
1,648 posts
The Smartest Kid in Class
My son told me he finished all his homework in record time and his teacher said he was 'outstanding.' I asked him what subject it was.
The Giraffe's Big Complaint
I asked a giraffe if he ever gets tired of being so tall. He said, 'Honestly, the height doesn't bother me at all.'
The Bluetooth Connection Struggle
My wireless headphones are so loyal that they refuse to connect to my phone while I’m holding it, yet they have no problem pairing with my neighbor’s smart fridge three houses away.
Coleman Lazy River
Good news for your wallet and bad news for your backyard fantasies: this "Coleman 200FT Lazy River Pool System" is apparently available at Costco. ...
The Weather App's Honest Review
I asked my weather app what the chances of rain were today. It said 0%. I walked outside and immediately got soaked. When I opened the app to complain, it had already updated to say 'Light showers expected earlier today.'
Budgeting Like a Pro
Spent the day removing $550,000,000 worth of stuff from my Amazon shopping cart.
Coffee Shop Trust
Woman next to me at coffee shop just asked a guy who's farther away to watch her computer for a sec.
The Influencer's Big Following
I told my friend I had 10,000 followers and he was really impressed. He asked if I was famous on Instagram or TikTok.
The Penguin's Career Advice
I tried to take life lessons from a penguin. They're always dressed for success, they never skip leg day, and they somehow thrive in the coldest conditions. I figured if anyone could teach me how to pull myself together, it was them.
Marsupial Burdens
I bet kangaroos get tired of holding all of their friend's keys and cell phones while they're at the beach.
