ME: *falls into gorilla enclosure*
GORILLA: [in sign language] I have a boyfriend.
Good news for your wallet and bad news for your backyard fantasies: this "Coleman 200FT Lazy River Pool System" is apparently available at Costco. ...
I asked my weather app what the chances of rain were today. It said 0%. I walked outside and immediately got soaked. When I opened the app to complain, it had already updated to say 'Light showers expected earlier today.'
I told my friend I had 10,000 followers and he was really impressed. He asked if I was famous on Instagram or TikTok.
I tried to take life lessons from a penguin. They're always dressed for success, they never skip leg day, and they somehow thrive in the coldest conditions. I figured if anyone could teach me how to pull myself together, it was them.
Comments (0)
Log in or sign up to leave a comment.
No comments yet. Be the first to comment!