Jokes on LaughParty

Jokes

All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!

2,437 posts

Alphabetical Order

What comes after America?

Crunching Numbers

Guy in the club: *lifts up his shirt* I do 400 crunches a day.

Low Standards

I raise the bar

Investment Question

If a leopard and a cheetah both had companies, which stock should you buy?

Hindsight is 2020

I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years.

The Replacement Plan

Me: You should be nicer to me. You'll never have another dad.

Extraterrestrial Tableware

Where did the Martian put his teacup?

Schrodinger's Cat

Schrodinger's Cat is depressed

Priorities

If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?

Calendar Mastery

It may seem like I have my shit together,

A Blunt Observation

This surgical knife isn't sharp,

Culinary Romance

What happens when you fall in love with a french chef?

A Forgettable Performance

I was going to buy tickets to see Michael McDonald in concert...

Homebody Goals

People who say "go big or go home" seriously underestimate my willingness to go home.

Pie Expectations

Relationships are easy as pie!

Deep Sea Nerves

What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean?

The Unpopular Archer

Why did no one like the Archer?

A Goat-Toga Mix-up

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party.

Fleas

I present to you the world's shortest poem, entitled "Fleas".

A Sticky Situation

This lady stalks me everyday from work to my home, and i'm beginning to like her

Tech-Savvy Pooch

What do you call a dog that likes to be on the internet?