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Menu Math

Now what's on the menu?

Prehistoric Playtime

T Rex isn't so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney

8: Daddy can we go to a haunted house tonight?

Me: You spent the night at Grandmas last week. 8: What? Me: Nothing. 8: I'm telling mom.

Charged with Battery

Energizer Bunny arrested:

The Math Book Problems

Why was the math book sad?

Feline Subtweets

I could be subtweeting my cat for all you know.

A Teacher Walks Into A Bar

A teacher walks into a bar. Guy: can I buy you a drink?

A Tall Order

Short people are oppressed.

Mom Jokes

I don't always tell mom jokes.

The Reptilian Runner-Up

A man submitted a joke about alligators with ED to a pun competition...

A Murder Most Fowl

What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

The Dad Thermostat

My dad installed a lock on the thermostat. Then he hid the key.

Landlord Logistics

They say love is worth more than money.

The Apathetic World

The number one problem in the world today is apathy.

Spicy Afterlife

What will the "Red Hot Chili Peppers" become when they die?

The Lice Strategy

Telling my daughter's date that "she has lice and it's very contagious the closer you get to her."

A Murderous Sight

I witnessed a murder today..

Penny for your thoughts

TIL it costs more money to make a penny than how much it's worth

Condescending Definitions

People tell me that I'm condescending

Musical Feces

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Medical Temperament

How are doctors so well tempered even under heavy stress?