Telling my daughter's date that "she has lice and it's very contagious the closer you get to her."
Correct way to parent.
I asked my weather app how accurate it was. It said, 'We're right about 50% of the time.' I said, 'That's terrible!' It said, 'Yeah, but that's still better than your uncle who checks the sky and says, '
I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today...
I spent three hours today carefully crafting the perfect caption, choosing the ideal filter, and finding just the right hashtags to post a photo of my lunch.
I asked my doctor why my knees pop, my back cracks, and my shoulders click every time I move. He said my body is just trying to communicate with me. I asked what it's saying.
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