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Shell Station

Why did the turtle cross the road?

Mountain Math

What's shorter than Mt. Everest?

Mathematical Ineptitude

"Describe yourself in 4 words."

The Extreme Easter Bunny

Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?

Avocado Quacking

What does a Mexican duck say?

Trunk Logistics

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?

The One Who Knocks

Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke?

Locomotive Moods

I saw a train today...

The Udderly Caffeine-Free Cow

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

The Surprise Greeting

I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words...

Shower Time Hazard

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

Move Over Espresso: Why Stubbing Your Toe Is the New Ultimate Morning Caffeine Hack

Forget the roasted beans, the artisanal froth, and the overpriced cardboard sleeves that somehow always burn your thumb. According to the latest findi ...

KING SOLOMON

I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure

A Literal Punchline

I told this guy I was arguing with if he stepped one more step closer I would hit him in the face, but he kept walking right to me.

Binary Expectations

There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, those who don't,

Equine Rejection

*tries to mount a horse*

Man choking

Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off*

Butcher's Blocked

I just failed my butcher's exam.

Van Gogh's Resolution

Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to the new year?

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Baa-Dum-Sss

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?