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Banking on Democracy

so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change.

The Narrator's Paradox

Me narrating a documentary about narrators

The Family Dinner Dilemma

I do not need to have a threesome...

Fighting Fit

My doctor had to put me on a new medication

Psychic Slices

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Hydration Issues

"Some say I have a drinking problem"

The Millionaire's Secret

Since I started dating my girlfriend a year ago I became a millionaire!

Musical Misconduct

Why was the musician arrested?

Musical Technology

What kind of computer can sing?

The Nap Double Standard

When my wife takes a nap, it's "desperately needed rest." When I do, it's "lazy chauvinist party-time."

Frisbae

What do you call a frisbee that's more than a friend?

Banned from the Picnic

With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail

Limo Logic

Did you hear about the guy who blew his entire lottery winnings on a limousine?

Houseboat Heartbreak

When I lived on a houseboat I was seeing the girl next door,

Canine Audio Equipment

What do you call a small, noisy dog?

Reptile Issues

Why couldn't the chameleon change colors?

The French Surplus

I saw a French rifle on eBay today.

The Binary Divide

There are two types of people in life...

A Card-Playing Son

My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission.

Dairy Logistics

Does a cow give milk?

Pac-Man Etiquette

What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man?