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A Fishy Romance

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

The Metric Cult

Who does the Metric Cult worship?

Safety First

A horse walks into the bar

The Barista Bandit

Cop: "Can you describe the person who robbed you?"

Drummer's Dilemma

Why was the band late to their gig?

The Desert Mirage

I was walking in the desert and saw a redwood tree. I knew this must be a mirage, so I ran into it. To my dismay, the tree and I collided.

The Invisible Man

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

A Boring Encounter

One woodworm met another. "How's life?" she asked.

Cosmic Spud

What do you call a potato in space?

Supernatural Debt

If you don't pay your exorcist,

The Social Media Purge

I'm never more ruthless than when deciding who to wish a happy birthday to on Facebook

A Sticky Situation

Waiter is there soup on the menu?

A Fruitful Union

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Sea Monster Lunch

What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

The Breakfast Nap

Everyone needs a three hour nap

The Procrastinator Club

I joined a procrastinator support group.

Snowman Snacking

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Entrepreneurial Spirit

Breaking Bad is my favorite documentary

The Michael Cera Mystery

I can't tell if Michael Cera is actually an actor,

The Neighborly Perspective

My neighbours are loud and obnoxious.

The Bald Porcupine

What do you call a bald porcupine?