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The Ice Cream Escape
4: Where did I come from? Me: Mommy's belly. 4: How'd I get there? Me: I, uh...put you there? 4: How did you...
Heavy Deodorant
[scale says I've gained 5 pounds] Me: It's probably just what I'm wearing. Wife: You're naked. Me: Wife: Me:
ATM Anxiety
Why do the people in front of me at the ATM always seem to be having some sort of damn major financial crisis?