Jokes on LaughParty

Jokes

All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!

2,437 posts

The Udderly Caffeine-Free Cow

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

The Surprise Greeting

I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words...

Shower Time Hazard

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

KING SOLOMON

I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure

A Literal Punchline

I told this guy I was arguing with if he stepped one more step closer I would hit him in the face, but he kept walking right to me.

Binary Expectations

There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, those who don't,

Equine Rejection

*tries to mount a horse*

Man choking

Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off*

Butcher's Blocked

I just failed my butcher's exam.

Van Gogh's Resolution

Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to the new year?

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Baa-Dum-Sss

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?

Barn Raising Blues

Have you ever been to an Amish party?

Snack Time Symphony

What music is good to listen to while having a snack?

Nautical Bragging

My best friend kept bragging about his expensive yacht.

Smurf Real Estate

Why didn't the Smurfs fit in the house?

Dietary Validation

Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me,

Horoscope Honesty

Gives up horoscopes for Lent, then caves and reads one.

The Unobservant Trio

Three blondes walk into a bar.

Physics Encouragement

What did the Physics professor say to the student?

Holiday Cricket

Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match?