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The Writer's Block
"My anger began to flow through me like hot mountain sweat.." Um, don't you mean "Lava"?
Mint Condition
[candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in...
The Performance Review
Critics are calling my performance of Wife Pretending To Care About Her Husband's Work Story
The Marriage Correction
Him: you are correcting my every word for the last six years of our marriage