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Weekend Recap

Respond to every 'How was your weekend?' today by staring off into the distance...

A Quick Exit

Why are people leaving the Ukraine?

Unreturnable Words

The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back.

Galactus's Dietary Restrictions

Galactus is about to eat our solar system when he flips over the label WARNING: CONTAINS MERCURY.

The Force of Gift Giving

How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas?

Breakfast with Kanye

What is Kanye West's favorite breakfast food?

The Smartest Kid in Class

My son told me he finished all his homework in record time and his teacher said he was 'outstanding.' I asked him what subject it was.

Grammar Comfort

What do you say when comforting a grammar nazi?

The Apple User's Dilemma

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

Spooky Poultry

What do you call a ghost chicken?

The Reddit Loop

A man goes on reddit to read some jokes

Ghostly Social Skills

One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost

Interstellar Planning

I was going to organize a space-themed birthday party for my son...

Lonely Debt

Debt collectors are so persistent,

Wine Wisdom

You prefer white wine over red?

Streaming in Moscow

Where do Russians stream movies from?

Supporting Roles

Watching TV today I saw a struggling actress I used to know had landed a job in a bra commercial.

Blood

Knock Knock. Who's there!

The DIY Groomer

I just vacuumed my dog to cut down on indoor shedding,

My grandfather knew the exact time of the exact day of the exact year that he would die.

Wow, what an evolved soul! How did it come to him?