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Hoops and Poultry

Why do NBA players like poultry?

Retail Fatigue

Once you've seen one shopping centre...

The Promotion Nobody Wanted

My boss told me I had a lot of potential and that he could really see me going places. I got so excited, I thought I was finally getting that big promotion I'd been working toward for years.

Barroom Bites

Sandwich walks into a bar

The Dalai Lama went into a pizza shop..

And asked them to make him one with everything.

Shipyard Inflation

Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard,

The Universal Bow

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Thor-oughly Disappointed

Hubs: If you could sleep with... Me: THOR!!! Hubs: ...the fan off tonight, that'd be great. Me: Ohhhh...

Medical Misconduct

What is it called when sensitive medical information about a very fat patient is disclosed?

Patio Furniture Puns

What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains?

Chemical Spirits

Chemists have an unpopular view on alcohol...

Magical Disappearing Act

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

The Overachieving Pooch

Me: Play dead. My Dog:

Clubbing Seal

So a seal walks into a club.

Doctor Doctor

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking?

A Cool Recovery

Did you hear about the man who cooled to absolute zero?

Military Math

What's the difference between a captain and a lt.col ?

Cinematic Seasoning

What's every movie critic's favorite cooking ingredient?

The Cannibal's Diet

Did you hear about the cannibal who visited the ICU ward?

Holiday Confusion

Kids these days think Christmas is all about getting presents

Trumpet Logic

Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time? Son: Easy.