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The Sourdough Starter Intervention
My wife asked why I was whispering while making dinner, and I told her the yeast was resting and I didn't want to wake it up. She rolled her eyes and said I was taking the 'artisanal bread' hobby too far.
East India Company Fails for Second Time in 400 Years Proving Not Even Global Tyranny Can Survive the Economy
It takes a special kind of talent to fail at the same job twice, especially when those failures are separated by a cool 167 years. The East India Comp ...
Washington State Licensing Hotline Accidentally Invented a New Language Instead of Using Spanish
Welcome to Washington state, where the coffee is strong, the rain is persistent, and the Department of Licensing has apparently decided that "Spanish" ...
Century Egg Challenge: How to Eat Something That Looks Like a Dinosaur’s Mistake and Smells Like a Janitor’s Closet
In the world of culinary "dares," there is a hierarchy of terror. You have your ghost peppers, your fermented shark, and then you have the heavyweight ...
Chris Hansen Tells Roblox Creditors to Have a Seat in the Metaverse
Lock up your blocky avatars and hide your digital pizza, because Chris Hansen is officially entering the Metaverse. In a crossover event that absolute ...
7 Signs You’ve Officially Become the Human Version of a Terms and Conditions Page
Have you ever had one of those moments where you realize you are essentially a ghost in your own home? Not the spooky, haunting-the-attic kind of ghos ...
The Spreadsheet Escape Artist
Why did the overworked accountant suddenly decide to hide inside his own Excel document?
The Low Pressure Promotion
The local meteorologist was thrilled to get a massive promotion, but his friends were confused because he never actually got the forecast right. When they asked how he landed a senior leadership role despite his terrible track record, he just smiled.
Grown Men in Cargo Shorts Finally Stop Scuffling at Target as the Pokemon Card Bubble Bursts
For the past few years, trying to buy a pack of Pokémon cards has felt less like a fun childhood hobby and more like trying to secure a brick of gold ...
The Competitive Vegetable Garden
The local fencing club had to disband after the coach realized they weren't actually training athletes...
The Asparagus Career Path
I tried to get a job at the vegetable warehouse, but they let me go because I couldn't keep my stalks in line.
Florida Man Attempts to Overthrow Cuban Government Before Remembering He Has Work on Monday
We have all had those deep, late night conversations with friends where we decide that we are definitely going to quit our jobs, move to a tropical is ...
The Digital Breadcrumb Trail
Online privacy is a myth because I once whispered the word 'spatula' in my sleep, and by breakfast, my social media feed was showing me a sponsored video for a silicone flipper that also plays jazz music.
3 AM at the Diner: A Guide to Having a Full Existential Crisis Over Side-Order Hash Browns
There is a specific brand of silence that only exists in a 2:00 AM diner. It’s a thick, syrupy quiet, occasionally punctuated by the sound of a dist ...