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A Grilling Mistake

ME: hey baby. HOT GIRL: ... ME: ... HOT GIRL: ... ME: *looks closer* HOT GRILL: ME:

Sharknado Fears

We got a tornado warning, and I'm too scared to open my windows.

How do you get into a Native American restaurant?

You make a reservation

A Brick-Built Elf

What do you call an elf made of lego?

A Soothing Funeral

The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week.

Weasel Words

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

Financial Botany

They say money doesn't grow on trees.

Reptilian Photography

What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a cartridge?

Commuter's Cramp

I'm getting tired of riding to work from New Jersey to Manhattan with my neighbors.

The Literal Bar

A guy walks into a bar...

The Wurst Life

There was a depressed sausage...

A Heavy Snack

I weighed myself today,

The Feline Economy

In the future when cats rule the world, the currency will be Cuteness

Linguistic Murder

Did you "ask" me or "axe" me?

Can I tell you a joke?

Your bum broke! hahaha!

Nudist Colony Investigation

Someone broke a hole in the nudist colony's fence.

Humility Forecast

Teacher: We're going to need you to work with your daughter on humility.

The Croc Critique

A pair of crocs sitting on a riverbank ask each other why people hate them.

Ant-icipated Punchline

What do ants drink?

The Struggle of Literacy

Just tried to read an article that wasn't a list.

Ent Desires

What does an Ent want?