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The Ultimate Statistic

We are all part of the ultimate statistic

The 007 Brew

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Stuntmen

How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Sound Ambition

One day I'll cure deafness...

The Barber's Logic

"Hey dad! Did you get a haircut?"

Prehistoric Adjustments

Turns out chiropractors aren't actually dinosaurs.

The Galactic Golfer

A Stormtrooper went golfing today.

Shakespearean Sports

I'd hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth

A Blind Robbery

Last night, Daredevil beat me up and took my money.

Public Service Announcement

Be alert!

Elemental Affection

Forget hydrogen,

Swedish Weather Reports

By law, you are required to turn on your headlights if it's raining in Sweden.

Label Maker Menace

Today my boss will learn that I am nowhere near mature enough

Highlander Nightlife

I was told the Highlander was stopping by a Mexican nightclub.

Roof Humor

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Fruitful Matrimony

Why don't melons run away to get married?

Second Chance Policy

Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance,

Seeing Other People

I think my blind girlfriend just broke up with me.

The Hula Burger

Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula?

ME: Excuse me...Where's the rowing boat equipment?

EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: EMPLOYEE: ME:

Alphabet Soup

I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday.