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School Ahead
Teacher: Why are you Late Today? Student: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
The Post-Dinner Critique
Leaving restaurant: "That was lovely". Outside: "Well, it was okay". In car: "I mean, it wasn't great".
Heavy Deodorant
[scale says I've gained 5 pounds] Me: It's probably just what I'm wearing. Wife: You're naked. Me: Wife: Me:
The Direct Route
Lady: (standing in the middle of a busy street) Officer can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?
The Mayflower Compact
Teacher: "Who built the first American car?" Student: "Me Pilgrims." Teacher: "The Pilgrims?"