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Vocabulary Struggles
HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems. *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable.
The Wooden Wonder
Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine, the wooden doors and the wooden chassis?
Binary Confusion
There are 10 kinds of people...
James Bond walks into a bar
James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to a chicken. Chicken: What's your name? Bond: My name's Bond. James Bond.
The Afterlife Forecast
It'll be a cold day in hell. Cloudy in purgatory, with a slight chance of rain. And clear skies up in heaven.
The Color-Coded Compliments
GF comes home after spray tanning. I say: Hey, orange you looking good! She says: Thanks. I say: Anytime, pumpkin! She says: You're sweet.
