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Scientific Kinship

What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?

Phone Ninja

Whenever I show someone a picture on my phone,

A Cheesy Diet

What kind of cheese should Richard eat?

Two musicians are walking down the street

One says to the other "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"

The Vinyl Countdown

The band Europe is rereleasing their greatest hits on records.

The Force is Strong with Gifts

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

Grizzly Habits

What do you call a country of grizzlies that is always stoned?

Age-Old Logic

My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I'm five."

Social Footwear

An introvert looks down at his own shoes.

Divine Dairy

Why do gods eat swiss cheese?

The Smoke Alarm's Rave Review

Knock knock. Who's there? Chef. Chef who?

Cemetery Security

Why do they build fences around graveyards?

Web Surfing in Italy

What's the best city to search the World Wide Web in?

The Gaming Emergency

THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED!

The Apple Forecast

The next iPhone won't be a failure.

Construction Issues

I used to have some well constructed ass jokes

The Midnight Sun

*stares at phone* why cant i sleep *puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brightness bathes my room in a light more powerful than the sun*

Wizarding Wit

If you don't get my Harry Potter references,

Funeral Etiquette

Saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I apologise' mean the same thing..

Cookie Revenge

When a coworker pisses me off,

Zoo Animal Instincts

I've got the eye of the tiger, heart of a lion, and...