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The Parallel Parking Expert

My wife said I never listen to her. At least I think that is what she said.

Noodle Rehab

Why did the noodles go to rehab?

A Blockbuster Flop

Have you ever heard of the movie "Constipation"?

The Quicksand Advantage

If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who would win?

The Bedtime Routine

Every night, I take all of the singles out of my wallet, spread them on the bed,

Business Idea: CinnaBon-Iver

Delicious pastries filled with scarf scraps and broken pieces of wind chimes.

The Bicycle Mystery

Why could nobody find the bicycle?

The Universal Mark

We're all born with scars. from the moment we open our eyes and look at the world we are wounded, we all share that same mark...

Domestic Shortage

I complained to my wife that I was short staffed at work.

The Reality Check

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

High Octane Caffeine

Coffee so good

Cloud Judgment

reckon the clouds look down and say,

The WiFi Name

My neighbor changed their WiFi name to "Hack this if you can."

The Mini-Skirt Speech

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.

The Barista's Emotional Damage

ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for "A Person Who Deserves Love"?

The Egoist's Bulb

How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fashion Nightmares

Thankful that Five-Fingered Shoes company

Update the Force, young Skywalker

Said Adobe Wan Kenobi.

Beer Math

If you pour two beers in one glass,

Roman Bar Math

A Roman guy walks into a bar...