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Shocking Kitchen Advice
If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife?
The GPS Argument
My GPS and I got into an argument. I said "I know a shortcut." She said "Recalculating."
The Job Interview
Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Me: "Celebrating the five-year anniversary of you asking me this question."
The Eavesdropper
I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.