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Toddler Troubles

It's amazing the little things you learn about your kids as they grow everyday.

The Fax of Life

My boss has a rather shrill phone voice.

Lumberjack Lag

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Charades Catastrophe

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the worst time to have a heart attack

The Zoo Exhibit

I went to the zoo the other day... The only animal they had was a small dog.

Modern Monikers

Imagine if last names were invented now,

The Duck's Perspective

I think a duck's opinion of me,

The Polar Pause

So a polar bear walks into a bar... and says, "I'll have a gin.....and tonic" The bartender says, "What's with the big pause?"

The Parenting Myth

Myth: Have kids close in age. It gets easier and they'll have a friend to play with.

Slippery Mosquitoes

If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off...

Chemical Friendship

My friend firmly believes that he's a solute.

The Clean Shaven Benefit

The bad news: I shaved off my beard.

Marital Math

The difference between polygamy and monogamy.

Feline Parking

Why was the lion-tamer fined ?

Agricultural Breakups

How do you break up with a farmer long-distance?

The Veterinary Malpractice

Doctor 1: You are going to lose your Doctoring License. Doctor 2: Everyone has slept with their patients one time or another.

Discovery Channel Logic

The Discovery Channel should be...

The Scratch Kitchen

Why does homemade bread not make your throat itch?

Irish Pooing Competition

So I entered an Irish pooing competition the other day.

A Happy Medium

My parents are in a fight. My dad wanted to go see a lighthearted psychic. My mother wanted to buy some cheerful watercolors.

Famous Acquaintances

Guys, I know Michael Jordan very well...