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Cold Thinking

What thinks the unthinkable?

The Pancake Strategy

If the plan is "eat pancakes now figure out life later"

Pajama Safari

I once shot a deer in my pajamas...

A Fragrant Fact

What smells better than it taste?

Hand Dryer Dilemma

Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job?

Morning Priorities

Nothing screams "I don't care about being on time for work" like...

Matchbox Comedy

Why is it fun to play with matches?

The Tuna Taxonomy

Why do people say tunafish, rather than just tuna?

Mechanical Fashion

Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic?

Bread and Butter

Butter must be southern

The Pharmacist's Date

[First date] Ok, don't let her know you're a pharmacist. Her: Can you pass the salt?

A Dyslexic Dinner

I once dated a dyslexic woman.

Landline Trauma

I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation

Snowy Communication

The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow...

The Missing Shower

Did you take a shower today?

The Wooden Car

Did you hear about the car with wooden wheels, a wooden engine, and wooden doors?

Seashell Boredom

May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean

German Efficiency

How many of my fellow Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Hide-and-Seek Tournament Troubles

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "You look like you've got a lot on your mind." The man replies, "Yeah… I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament" The bartender asks, "How'd it go?"

A Jewish kid asks his dad for 50 bucks.

His dad says, "40 dollars?"

Cemetery Cell Service Struggles

My son said he didn't get a phone signal when walking past the cemetery.