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Muffins

So there are two muffins in an oven. One says to the other, 'Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?'

The Volunteer Assistant

Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake?

A Sick Country

What country is ill?

Chemical Comedy

Want to hear a joke about potassium?

The Car Wash Curse

Pays $20 for deluxe car wash.

Foot Logic

Me - "Hey kiddo, you have your shoes on the wrong feet"

Nuns and Needles

I recently had to stop making clothes for nuns...

Math's Tough Love

Hey you know how people say they hate math because it doesn't make sense?

Ocean Infestation

The ocean isn't shark-infested. It's the ocean. That's where sharks live. We aren't supposed to be there.

Hog Wild

Did you hear about the pigs who took up motorcycling?

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing.

New Toy Alert

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Grunge Barbie

Feline Priorities

Cat: Human, congratulations, I've chosen your face to sleep upon tonight.

Trust Fall Fail

Sorry about the concussion Steve,

The Squirrel Army

Friend: Will we be hearing the patter of tiny feet soon?

Hare-y Stew

How do you know when you're eating rabbit stew?

Role Model

Typos...

Grammar Grumbles

Bad grammar is my biggest pet peeve.

Radioactive Reception

What do you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power?

A Foggy Situation

I tried to catch some fog earlier.

Explosive Primate

What do you call a monkey in a minefield?