Jokes on LaughParty

Jokes

All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!

1,238 posts

Capital Gains

What's the best way to capitalize on an opportunity?

A Grizzly Request

"Bear with me"

The Average Comfort

Heard about the statistician who liked to kick back with his feet in the oven and his head on a bucket of ice?

Swipe Right

I used to have a phone with a really good user interface...

The Library Fire

MAN: Do you have books on fire? LIBRARIAN: Yes, in the Chemistry section

Tech Attraction

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Musical Haunting

The ghost of Gloria Gaynor appeared in front of my bed.

The Memory Conference

I've just been refused entry to the National Alzheimer's conference.

Bunny Brew

Why do rabbits love beer?

The Aspiring Aviator

My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, "Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you."

Pork Problems

Why do pigs have flat snouts?

A Light Snack

Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball

Culinary Logic

Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs.

A Flock of Seagulls

A group of guys with ponytails is called...

Anatomical Blasphemy

What do you call a bone that disrespects God?

Jungle Hide and Seek

A jaguar asked an colourful arsehole with a big nose to join him in hide and seek...

The Impossible Order

A solid way to make your waiter's head explode is to order a grilled cheese...

My Son Isn't Mine?

I was very upset when my wife told me our son wasn't mine.

Eight-Armed Envy

What animal do I respect most? The octopus.

The DIY Expert's Confession

I spent all weekend watching tutorial videos, carefully measuring twice, and selecting the perfect tools before tackling my first home improvement project.

Vain Twig

What do you call a twig that won't stop looking in the mirror?