Jokes
All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!
37 posts
A Bird's Day in Court
Where do you find a murder of crows?
A Split Decision
My friend who lost the entire left side of his body just won a prestigious award for his positive attitude and incredible recovery. At the ceremony, they asked him if he ever felt like giving up during the long physical therapy sessions.
You Spelled What?
What is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary.
A Difference in Definitions
A lawyer and an engineer are arguing at a bar about who has the more honest profession.
A Rare Canine Intellect
I’ve been training my dog to do high-level calculus, but I think he’s struggling with the concept of 'infinity'.
A Relationship with High Standards
My wife asked me to stop acting like a flagpole because it was making our relationship feel too rigid and distant.
The Smart Home Relationship Intervention
My girlfriend and I finally moved into a high-tech 'smart home,' but after our first minor argument, the house clearly took her side. I knew I was in trouble when I asked the kitchen to start the coffee maker and it replied, 'I think you know what you did.'
The Level-Headed Relationship
My husband insisted on installing all the new kitchen cabinets by himself, but after six hours of measuring and drilling, every single unit was visibly tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.
The Stationary Bike Commute
I’ve been training on a stationary bike for three hours every morning to prepare for my new job, but I’m starting to think the HR department lied to me.
Block Fires Half Its Humans After Realizing Robots Don't Need Mental Health Days or Artisanal Coffee
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has been paying attention to the slow, metallic takeover of our society, Block, the company formerly kn...
The Sourdough Starter Intervention
My wife asked why I was whispering while making dinner, and I told her the yeast was resting and I didn't want to wake it up. She rolled her eyes and said I was taking the 'artisanal bread' hobby too far.
The Spreadsheet Escape Artist
Why did the overworked accountant suddenly decide to hide inside his own Excel document?
The Low Pressure Promotion
The local meteorologist was thrilled to get a massive promotion, but his friends were confused because he never actually got the forecast right. When they asked how he landed a senior leadership role despite his terrible track record, he just smiled.
The Digital Breadcrumb Trail
Online privacy is a myth because I once whispered the word 'spatula' in my sleep, and by breakfast, my social media feed was showing me a sponsored video for a silicone flipper that also plays jazz music.
The Memory Foam Betrayal
My wife asked me why I've started spending so much money on expensive memory foam pillows and high-tech orthopaedic mattresses lately.
The Coffee Conspiracy
I think my coffee maker is plotting against me. Every morning it beeps exactly when I am in the shower.
