Situations Hallmark Does Not Cover

1. I always wanted To have someone to hold,

Someone to love. After meeting you ...

(Inside card) I changed my mind.

2. I must admit, You brought Religion into my life...

(Inside card) I never believed in Hell Until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am...

(Inside card) That you're not here

To ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

(Inside card) Will you take the knife from my back?

You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry...

(Inside card) Someone other than you.

6. Happy birthday! You look great for your age ...

(Inside card) Almost lifelike!

7. When we were together,

You said you'd die for me...

(Inside card) Now we've broken up, I think it's time

To keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time...

(Inside card) What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you...

(Inside card) It's almost like you're still here.

11. You are such a good friend

If we were on a sinking ship

And there was only one life jacket...

(Inside card) I'd miss you terribly

And think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something

really special

For your birthday...

(Inside card) So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and

West Virginia).

14. Looking back over the years

We've been together, I can't help but wonder...

(Inside card) What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding day!..

(Inside card) Too bad no one likes your husband.

16. How could two people as beautiful as you...

(Inside card) Have such an ugly baby?

Situations Hallmark Does Not Cover - A card for every situation, thats what Hallmark the greeting card company is supposed to provide us. Here's a list of funny greeting card moments they don't make cards for....yet.