Pun Collection
Funny Joke
1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a
famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to
much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft,
it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar
and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted
to transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby
discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess
nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family
in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him
"Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving
the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist
shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival
florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers
to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious
thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their
store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so,
thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced
an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him
rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what?
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with
the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun
in ten did.
FREE Horoscopes sent daily to your cell phone!Pun Collection - Funny collection of ten different puns to send your firends. - Funny Joke
| Funny Pictures Archive | Paid Surveys | Funny Jokes Archive |
<< PREV 25 new Win2k message joke | Top 9 Signs Your Cat joke NEXT >>
Categories and Tags related to this funny picture : Miscellaneous, puns,variety,collection
Funny Joke Directory