Modern Day Translations, pt. 2
Funny Joke
GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT
A vigorous masturbation session.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The +no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa!Aa!".
MUMBLER
An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i. e. you can see the lips'moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.
MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up,whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NELSON MANDELA
Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
PEARL HARBOUR
Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out here!" Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the air.
PICASSO ARSE
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
RAGMAN'S COAT
Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e. g. "That mumbler looks quite fit''
SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
STARFISH TROOPER OR ARSETRONAUT
A homosexual.
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman.
TART FUEL or BITCH PISS
Bottled Alcopops, e. g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
TITANIC
A lady who goes down first time out.
TODGER DODGER
A lesbian. UP ON BLOCKS
Menstruating i. e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".
WALLACE AND GROMIT
Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.
WANK SÉANCE
The eerie feeling, during a masturbation session, that you're being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.
WONDERBRA
When she takes it off, you 'Wonder' where her tits went!
WYNONA RYDER
Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen".
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